I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Operation Purity has been aborted
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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