hotel room ftw
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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