I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
