Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I can't put those talents on a resume
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
