You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
