so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
