I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
