Can Purell be used as lube?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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