I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
