she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My vagina just clenched in fear
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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