I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
