Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize