WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Congratulations! We have a period
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