check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize