she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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