Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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