I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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