I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I believe in your delicious
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
