my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
