Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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