idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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