we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
