I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
