Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
