Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
