you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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