Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize