I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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