Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
someone threw a dead crab at me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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