i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
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Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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