Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Found your dick twin last night
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize