Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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