Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
