I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
