Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
