i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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