you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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