just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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