he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize