i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
