So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
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dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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