It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
