i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
