I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
