Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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