I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
