$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
