please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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