I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
kristin has been a bad kristin
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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