Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
