White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
