she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
