He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
