but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
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she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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