Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
